Try, Verb

Apparently I've never written about this which is kind of surprising on my behalf. By definition it means to make an effort to do or accomplish (something); attempt. Looking back, I've noticed that everything I've done needed me to try at first even if it meant failing in the end. It's funny to even realize that when you write about your life you sometimes forget about everyone else. This is why I'm dedicating this entry to everyone's who's tried for me. For them, for each one, I am thankful.

Part Two

Bricks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. I'll spare you the trouble in finding out how untrue that saying can be. I'll continue this later.

Words

Sometimes when you hear them or read them they mean everything. They teach you things and you learn from them. Other times, they mean nothing. Ironic isn't it? One example: the four letter word. I'm not going to spell it out for you since it's all I ever write about. So it starts. You say something and you wait for some kind of reply, something that will reassure you-- something that will lessen your doubts. So, you end up with two possible outcomes. One, you get the reassurance and then the cliche of actions speak louder than words that start ringing through your ears. Two, you don't get the reassurance and your left to over think and perpetuate your own thoughts and even more doubts and realize you've just put yourself in a position that you don't want to be in. And actually there is a third outcome. You get an answer so indirect and unfulfilling that you wonder why it's so hard for someone to read you when your heart is clearly spread on the table in manageable pieces to put together. I guess satisfaction is never something to run across in this case. What I really want to say is, I've stopped believing in those three words. And really, I've lost feeling to the four letter word that encompasses it all. It's not real to me and at this moment it's only replaced with yet another four letter word that seems to exist more often, hurt. So what for? Here's another four letter word: pain. So don't tell me you love me and don't expect me to say it anymore. Tell me you'll hurt me, tell me I'll end up in pain, just tell me the truth. And in response, I'll be honest. I'll tell you I won't miss any of it. I'll even tell you that words were never enough. Words, it's just a word. Pain, it's just a word. Hurt, it's just a word. Love-- it's just a word.